Traveling home on the flight from Belfast to Newark the guy sitting next to me on the plane pulled out his penis. If he thought he was going to get anything from me but incredulous laughter, he flashed the wrong girl. Before he felt the need to 'share' he'd already told me he was married with children, a high school teacher in Northern Ireland, and this was his first trip to the States. I knew if I called a Flight Attendant or brought any attention to him at all, he'd probably be arrested, or sent straight back to Northern Ireland in disgrace. Looking back, I realize it wasn't my decision to make, but at the time I decided that he'd just had too much to drink, and left it at that. Which was fine, for after tucking his flaccidity back into storage, he promptly fell asleep and left me alone. When he woke and didn't have a clue how to fill in his immigration card, I helped him, and told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever tried anything like that again, he'd probably end up on the wrong side of the law. He looked suitably petrified.